I didn't die.

I made it!

It only took me 13 minutes.... walking for about 2 minutes of it.... so I'd say its a little over a mile.

Not much... but its 13 minutes more than I did yesterday.... I can manage 15 minutes away while Brian watches Leah...

Now the recovery.... boy did that heat index of 110 make me sweat!!

Why am I not?

Uh, running that is....

Quite a few people I know recently have picked up running.... they talk about how great it makes them feel and I honestly am getting kind of jealous.   Yes, jealous of their running. Crazy huh!?

I miss the feeling of being strong... lately I am just feeling flabby and blah.  I used to always feel proud of my size, yet its slipping...

I think I have been giving myself the excuse of "I dont have time"to work out... but I started to think about it.... I work from home atleast twice a week.  I have this new hair cut that is pretty much wash and go.   I dont need much time to just get out there and run.... why not atleast try it in the mornings that I am working from home, and maybe once on the weekend?

I know it will make me feel better all around.... feel better physically... feel better emotionally as I have the time to think quietly about whatever is stressing me out.  Enjoy a little me time...

As soon as I finish this I am lacing up my tennies and headed out the door.   I am going to run (maybe walk alittle, and try not to get hit by a car!) over to Leah's new daycare where I need to pick up some paperwork before she begins Monday.   I need to go and I am currently carless (finally took it in after it didnt start the other day while parked in my moms driveway.   Perfect place to break down I must say!   It needed something with the starter and new tires....) so I have no excuse.

... well except there is a heat advisory outside...

Im still going I promise!

Hopefully I survive and still think this is a good idea!

Only a Month Late

Vacation was great!  I aboslutely loved spending a whole week with Brian and Leah (and alot of other family).

Ill just let the pictures do the talking...

Good bye condo.... hope to see you again in the future!

Acceptance

I was completely heart broken when we first heard the news that our buyer fell thru.

After a lot of talking, moving back into the house, and buying a few new things for the house I am 100% OK with whatever is in store for us.

Thursday night Brian and I finally had the chance to really talk about what we felt and what we wanted to do.   We realized that if we have to stay in St. Charles, in this house, we will be OK... great even.   We have always been saving, saving, saving for the future, but for once we might be able to enjoy our money a bit.   Currently we can easily afford this house.   We decided to put Leah in the new daycare for a variety of reasons (I am saving it for another post) but it will truly allow us to save AND have some fun for once! If we are still here at Christmas we plan to do a bit of work to the house that we have always wanted to do as a gift to ourselves. Knock down a half wall?  New floors?  Larger baseboards?  Plus I can get a NEW car next summer! Whoohooo!! I am thinking a Traverse?

The weirdest thing is Thursday night when we came back to the house from my parents, I actually felt really good about it.... like I was back home.   I was excited.   I was  happy.  I was feeling great about our future.

Then Friday morning we had to head out to the new house for our pre-construction meeting, ya know in case someone does come along in the next few months and wants to buy our house and we do move..... and seeing the foundation.... going over our dream house, I was almost back to my original position of "I really really want to move!"

Up and down.

Back and forth.

Today we moved some furniture back to "stage" the house.   Monday the house is back, ready for showings, and an open house next weekend has already been scheduled. It felt great to move back, re-organize my kitchen, rearrange furniture... like we were moving into a new place.  We bought a new,smaller,  230 dollar, kitchen table to better fit our kitchen area.   (Our previous table was awesome, but way too big for the space).    Brian also finally bought his old man, leather recliner.   The changes are exciting.   The house feels new and great.   We feel revived....

I honestly have NO IDEA what I really want anymore.

I know I do really want this whole moving process to be over though.   The one thing I dread about staying is the fact that we still will go thru this all again.   We really want to move before Leah starts Kindergarten.   But if we have to wait 3-4 more years, hopefully I will have my designation by then (really I will almost have too... otherwise I will have a new job) and I will be making about 60% more than I am now so maybe we can afford an even more fabulous house? Or a house in Fenton rather than Eureka.... because we all know my heart is really in Fenton.

So where will we be spending the holidays?   Only time will tell.... I am just riding the roller coaster that is the real estate market.  It could be an interesting next few months.

N-K-O-T-B-S-B!

It was totally the best concert ever!!   I cant not explain the amazing-ness of it!   Maybe the was the fact that it was 2 groups I loved when I was younger.... singing all their old, favorite songs,.... or the very handsome fellows.... or our awesome seats?... But OMG it was the best night I have had in a long time!

Me and my BFF Ashley.   I think she is more like my sister than anything else.   Always there.   2 hrs in between us and busy lifes but the second we are together its like we are 14 again!  

My Shoester from GLEE!!!!! 

I was within 5 feet of Nick... and then Jordan.... and then inches from Howie. I almost touched him but then i tripped over my chair.... I should of just let myself wipe out because then maybe he would helped me up..... see totally reverting to my 14 year old self!   Its funny how I went right back to that point in my life!

And a few videos.... Our seats where 7 rows from the circle in the middle.... awesome!

I am in the bottom corner at the beginning of this video! ha!

AWESOME!! Totally going everytime they come to town in the future!!   Its 100% worth the money!

Mini Freak Out In 5...4...3...2...

The new deadline for the loan commitment came and went yesterday without  good news....

Not only was our buyer unable to get his financing, he showed another sign of not being able to get it anytime in the near future.

We made the miserable, depressing, aggravating decision to put the house back on the market.

We will still allow the buyer to have the house if he ever gets finances taken care of, but until then we will hope for a new buyer who already has all his ducks in order.

I was very upset when I heard the news yesterday, but was able to quickly to forget about it by having an amazing night with my BFF and 9 handsome hunks who go by the name of NKOTBSB.   I will post about it soon... like how we were in the 7th row and I reverted back to my 14 year old self.  Best night in a long time... .  but Ashley had to leave today and the stress of life quickly hit me head on...

We have to move back!?

We have to make our house look civilized so that someone wants to say "Yes, I want to live here too!"  This means moving some furniture back... but how much?  Keeping the house clean again. Having showings and open houses?!

Do we try to get back to normal?  Or do we continue on the hope that we will be moving soon?

What about Leah's daycare?  My mom is going back to work in 2 weeks.... Does Goddard still have an opening for her?

And what about that house we are building?  And the pre-construction meeting on Friday?

Oh and I think my camera might have finally died last night.... yeah.... at the beginning of the concert, where I was 7th row..... I guess I didnt really need 80 pictures of the guys.... but buying a new camera?

And my car needs new tires, and is maybe leaking something.... when can I find time to get that fixed?

And for some good kind of stress, my BFF Ashley asked me to be her matron of honor! .... but the wedding is in 3 months!   Showers, bachelorette party, speech planning.... GO!

I am already freaking out... and beginning to feel that crazy anxiety because I need to just control something... anything....Mini melt down might be near.  

I was able to semi figure out the problem of daycare though.... I called Goddard and they have any opening for Leah!!! She can start back Aug 1st or later if we want..... It will be nice to get a little normalcy back into our life... BUT.... while I was waiting to hear about Leah's spot I called another daycare... Their price is half of what we usually pay.... part of me wants to maybe send her there in hopes it is only for a little while and we can save some money for the new house since the plan of staying at my parents and saving money while the house is being built is kind of shot... But what if we dont sell our house and Leah is stuck at this little daycare and missing her chance to become awesome at Goddard?!

There is some major decision making that needs to be done in the Gilmore household....  Hopefully I no one finds me curled up in a corner, waving my white flag, wanting to give up.... because at the the moment that is really what I want do.

Change of Venues

Friday came and went with Brian and I a ball of nerves.  We both checked our emails constantly, checked our phones....    Finally at 8pm we received the request for an extension.... till Tuesday.

Part of me wonders why just 4 more days?! Why not just say till the end of next week? The thought of going thru the same rollercoasters again makes me sick.  Asking till Friday I think would give a little more cushion...

I was so bummed yesterday about not getting to move I could barely stand being in the house.   When I was at home, I was mad. I was grumpy. I had to get out.   We went to the park, visited Brian's grandmother, did a little shopping, went to dinner...

This morning we packed up some of our stuff and moved to my parent's.  They are out of town for the week, and with our schedules this week it was just easier to be at my parents.  (The first non-relative will be babysitting Leah Wednesday. I am kind of super nervous about it!)

I really hope we wont be going back to our house.... I hope last night was our last night in St. Charles... I think if we have to head back to that house I will do the big ugly cry the whole drive there...

If we do not hear that our buyer has loan commitment Tuesday we plan to put it back on the market, but allow the current buyer to have it if he ever gets his stuff together... We keep hearing that all transactions are having problems with loan commitments.  Its just a sign of the times. So who knows if the next buyer will be any better..

Friday also brought the news that they finally began construction on the new house.  We are about to head out to see our hole.  Part of me doesnt even want to see it until after Tuesday. I dont want to get my hopes up even more... I hope so much that it will get to be our future home!!

So everyone think happy thoughts come Tuesday.  I already know it will be a good day.  A fabulous time will be had with my best friend of 23 years at the NKTOBSB concert!! Lets hope we also get to celebrate some good news!

Anxiety

I know I am over due on a post regarding vacation…. I need to do it before the memories begin to escape me…  I also probably need to make a post to just discuss how awesome Leah is right now…

But I am just WAY TOO stressed out right now to even calm down enough to think about anything beyond our house situation.

Tomorrow should have been our closing date…. But here we are, still in our house, waiting to hear if we will even get to close.  

We are getting uncomfortably close to our next deadline… the loan commitment date of our buyer.   We have yet to hear good news… or the request to push the date back even further.   

I think the wait, the stress, the living without furniture, is starting to wear on Brian and I.    We are both losing hope.

I am unsure of what exactly Brian and I want to hear since the likely hood of hearing that our buyer is ready to close and we are progressing in this process is very small.

Do we want this buyer to just give up?  Give us the chance to put our house back on the market and hope for the best? 

Do we want the request to wait it out a few more weeks?  A few more weeks has to do the trick right!?  We could be out of here atleast by Aug… Right?

And all while we sit and wait… we have been slowly progressing on building our the house.  We have picked out the lighting, the faucets, the appliances, the siding, the roof, the shutter colors, the paint colors… but will it be ours?!   We have the pre-construction meeting next Friday… depending on our news this week, there may be no need for us to even show up.

In the middle of everything that does not seem to be going our way, I can’t help but to want to find some positivity.   I am an optimistic person by nature.  I like to see the good in things, but this has knocked me down a bit.    … They were supposed to have started buildingour the new house 3 weeks ago…. But here we are… and the digging has yet to begin… maybe this is how it is all supposed to be going. Maybe the house will begin construction when we know we are safely out of this one.   Maybe everything will just fall into place.

I truly believe things happen for a reason… maybe this is all just going according to someone else’s plan?

**** Update: I wrote this yesterday but for some reason it did not post.... We did hear an update, with some promising news, but we still do not want to get our hopes up.