But I need to do it again!
I worked from home today strictly for the plan to get a long run in.
Its 60+ degrees today.
In Mid January.
In St. Louis.
My first problem may have been the fact that I headed out around lunch time...
With only having ate a bowl of cereal & handful of almonds before I headed out the door...
Maybe if was the fact that this week was the first week back at boot camp after almost a month off with the holidays and my legs are SORE!
Or maybe it was because I am coming off another cold, which included major congestion the past few days and not taking any meds today...
But todays run was my worst run EVER!
Sure... 7 miles at a 10:14 min pace.
Thats better than the last time I ran 7+ miles.
But I walked alot!
Probably about a mile total.
Its really frustrating me as I officially begin my half marathon training Monday.
This run actually fits in with my training plan as I am supposed to run most of my runs at a minute slower than my expected half pace...
Which means around 10 minutes...
But it does not make me feel better.
I hate that I walked.
I hate that I struggled.
It makes me question all my future runs.
When I have to go further.
I have a problem where I cant just do something...
I have to do it awesomely!
Perfectly.
I always set the bar too high.
In the locker room after boot camp yesterday I was chatting with a girl.
A girl who has lost tons of weight.
But it still bigger & less athletic than myself.
It came up that I am running my first half marathon.
She responded with "Oh you will love it! I did my first last year! Its alot of fun."
Awesome for her...
But all I thought was "I am not running it for fun! I am running it because I want an awesome time!"
It got me thinking...
Yes, I am loving running.
But I am not running for the "I went 13.1 miles... thats alot, and I am darn proud" feeling.
I am running because "I ran 13.1 miles fast! In the time I set a goal for."
But after today's run, maybe I need to try to get back to just running it for fun...
Finding happiness in the run rather than the time.
I think your last sentence hit the nail on the head. It is hard when you can't PR and when you have to walk - but you DID run and you ran well. Hang in there Kim - you are going to kill the half marathon.
ReplyDeleteI get your frustration and i can definitely relate.
ReplyDeleteWe need to ease up on ourselves. We are going to run a freaken half!! That is incredible and admirable.... No matter the pace we do it at. We gotta remember to have fun!
Sometimes we have runs better than other runs.
And that's ok.
Be proud you finished given your opposing circumstances.
And shoot a 10 minute mile with a good amount if walking is awesome!!
You can do this!
Kick that doubt to the curb!!
Yes, you need to shift your perspective!!! :)
ReplyDelete