Monday, April 25, 2011

Aftermath Anxiety

While laying in bed, reviewing notecards, and just acting a little off all afternoon:

Brian:  Starting to freak out?
Me: nods yes.
Brian: I guess I wont ever understand it. I never had test anxiety.
Me: Its not exam, its aftermath anxiety.

And I think that is EXACTLY it. 

I am ready to take the test. I want to take the test. I LOVE taking tests.

My worry comes from the "What if I fail?... I have to tell everyone I failed. I have to look at this stupid material AGAIN. I have to be 6 months behind on my career goals AGAIN. That's 6 more months that I get to spend less time with my family...feeling like this!" 

Its 2 and a half weeks till D-Day.

I think I am handling this exam better than I have in the past.... I feel like I am on the brink of a meltdown, but I feel like I am controlling it better this time around. I know to ask Brian for help on all other things. I know that if I just study a little more, I will feel better....I plan to call up a cleaning service to come do our house for me so that its one less thing to worry about.

This time around, I feel like I have things more under control.

Lets hope it helps!


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