<3 <3 <3

I am feeling extremely emotional today and have a burning desire to write out my feelings, but I am unsure if I will be able to find the right words to do it all justice....

The past few days, Leah seems to be growing before my eyes! She has become so smiley and happy lately that I now understand how people say that their kids smiles melt their hearts. Every time Leah gives me that big gummy grin I feel this huge "AWWWWW" inside. I just keep thinking about how absolutely perfect she is! She is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, big and healthy, always happy (unless you are slow to get her a bottle), extra cuddly... just PERFECT! I feel so unbelievably blessed to have such an amazing little girl! I know everyday I will continue to fall more and more in love with her!

I am also realizing that as much as I am falling more in love with Leah, and I am also falling more and more in love with Brian! I cant believe our love that we have for each other could create this perfect little thing. I feel more connected to him than I ever have. I love knowing that me and him, together, have this amazing challenge to give Leah the best life possible.

Its funny how I no longer feel like two beings... a husband and wife... we both had jobs, we shared money, we lived in the same house and slept in the same bed.... but now, with Leah, we really are a FAMILY! Marriage never seemed to really change anything... it felt alot like dating... but having a child really does change EVERYTHING!

Deciding to get pregnant and start our family I think was the best decision we could have ever made! I could not imagine anything making me more happy than I am right now!

Leah's perfect, Brian's perfect, Life is perfect! :)

Happy girl!

:)

I LOVE her! That's pretty much all there is to say!

But on a sad note.... I put her in a 0-3 month sleeper/onesie today... she is compeletely filling it out length wise! I opened her 3-6 month drawer to see what the measurements for that size was... yup... 23-27 inches... my baby girl, at 5 weeks and 3 days old is moving into 3-6 month clothing!! :(

Merry christmas!

Leahs first xmas was great! I couldn't ask for it to be any better... here she is playing with her new activity mat from grandma and grandpa gilmore while we get ready for bed. 

Ill update more later! 

1 month check up

Leahs is doing GREAT and is a healthy big girl!

Here are the stats:

10 lb 10 oz - 85th percentile

23 inches long - over 95th percentile

Head measurement... I cant remember the #, but its 50th percentile.... No Kozlen head here...

She showed the doctor all of her tricks too... holding up her head and standing on her feet when held... the doctor agreed... shes amazing! Ok... maybe she just said "Thats great!"

I am changing her formula though to a more sensitive one... she definitely has a problem with burping and hopefully this helps... its nothing major... no massive reflux problems where she spits up (she actually only spits up maybe once a week and usually on me) but want to make feeding a little easier on her... Right now she just drinks and drinks and drinks and gets HUGE burps built up that she gets really fussy until they come out... which takes a while! So she has had a few feedings with the new stuff... I havent noticed too big of a difference, but we will be patient...

She goes back jan 19th for her 2 month check up... and shots!!! eeks!

2010

My amazing brother wrote on his blog http://s-koz.blogspot.com/ (I dont know how to do the cool linking!) about resolutions and what he wants to accomplish in 2010.

It made me think some about what I am hoping for in 2010.... I have alot the more I think about it!

Here is my list... lets see if I can check them all off as the year goes on...

1. Learn to live stress free with a baby. I want to be able to do it all and not feel overwhelmed... I want to get into a comfortable routine as a working mom, so that I am not tired, stressed, or scatter-brained! I know it will be hard, and it will take a while, but hopefully by the end of the year, things will atleast start to get easier.
2. Begin working as an actuary. I HOPE this one will get crossed off quickly, and I get my new position when I return to work next month (oh, so sad... next month! :( )
3. Pass 2 exams... whether is MFE that I have to take again, and MLC...or MLC and exam 4 (I cant remember what exam 4 is!)
4. Take my lunch to work more often... and make Brian as well.
5. Start saving more money for my next car... this will be difficult with all the next expenses of a baby... but hopefully my #2 will help this!.. and #4. ha
6. Lose the rest of my baby weight! 18 lbs.. blah! .... preferably by Jan 25th, so that I fit into all of my work clothes and dont have to buy new ones!
7. Take more weekend trips... especially to KC to visit my brother and Sarah... and the new WATERPARK!!! I cant wait!!!
8. Monthly dates for Brian and I so that we can make sure our marriage can stay happy and healthy after a baby.... plus it gives grandparents a chance to babysit!

And I cant think of any more... but I think thats a good start!

By the way.. HOLY COW its 2010!!! I think the last 10 years have been the most life changing! I dont think and decade will include as many extreme life changes as these last 10 has. Life changing things that happened in the last 10 years:

1. Began driving
2. Graduated high school
3. Went away to college
4. Met my future husband
5. Turned 21
6. Graduated from college
7. Got my first real job
8. Got engaged
9. Got married
10. Got pregnant
11. Became a mother

What will the next 10 hold? New job, more kids, moving to Fenton :)....

busy busy busy!

This week will be Leah's busiest week of her life... so far!

It sort of exhausts me thinking about it....

Sunday: Heading to Grandma and Grandpa Gilmores so that mommy and daddy can enjoy some alone time and finally see New Moon! Then enjoying Grandpa Gilmores birthday dinner.

Monday: Leah's 1 month check up! Can you guess how much she has grown? Daddy thinks I will be 9 lb 15 oz and 24 inches long... Mommy thinks I will be 10 lbs 6 oz and 22 and 3/4 inches long. Then we will be heading to Mommy's work to meet her friends and finally visiting Grandma and Grandpa Kozlen while Mommy goes to her postpartum appointment.

Tuesday: Visiting Grandpa Gilmore's old workplace to meet his friends.

Wednesday: Cleaning the house with Grandpa Gilmore and then heading to Fenton for a girl's night with Mommy's high school friends.

Thursday: Its Christmas Eve and we will be hanging out with Uncle Steve and Aunt Sarah since we rarely get to see them!

Friday: Its Christmas!! And all of our family is coming over to our house to celebrate!

Sometime within this week, Leah needs to sleep enough so that I can get all of my cooking/baking done for Christmas day!

Let hope its a good week!!

My baby's growing up!

She turned 1 month old yesterday!!!!!!

We all survived! It was the most wonderful, memory-filled, exhausting, life changing, happiest, sometimes frustrating, month of our lives!

I love seeing her change each day and discover new things! Brian has her now watching TV... see the picture below... This chair was also the best 20 dollars (from walmart) that I have ever spent!

Now just a lifetime more to go! :)

Too sweet

Cuddling up with her seahorse, which glows and sings to her.... and transitioning over to the new binkies that can be attached to her and not get spit out onto the ground.

why'd I look?

I checked the SOA.org website...

My score is still not posted... and it wont be until 1/11/10. Ugg. Now I am getting curious again!

And I checked on the Spring test dates... it looks like I will be taking another exam May 12th or May 13th... ugg... That means book ordering and the beginning of studying are just around the corner!

Back to Leah.... no need to think about it now!

How we spend our mornings...

Some of you may find this boring... to bad!

Rattle time!

Leah is getting more and more amazing! Now she has learned to hold onto her raddle!

She flings it around pretty fast! Hopefully she doesn't smack herself in the head!!

LOOK!!

at 3 weeks and 1 day, look how strong she is!!! I am one proud mama!!!!!

before she gets up

Leah's 2nd bath: Leah did not make a single peep the whole time. She was completely quiet and relaxed! Unlike last time, she did not pee in the tub... instead the minute I took her out of the tub, and wrapped her in her towel, she decided to pee all over me! Oh well! Maybe next time it will be pee free! Third times the charm right!?

And we went xmas shopping!! Tuesday, Leah and I ventured to Chesterfield Valley, and went to Lowes, Best Buy and Target. We was a nice trip except for a little breakdown in Best Buy. Leah had a went diaper so we had our first experience using a changing table in a public restroom (I had my changing mat, no worries). It was definitely not too easy... and afterwards Leah did not want to get back into her car seat.... so we shopped around Best Buy while I held her and pushed the shopping cart with her empty car seat inside. We made it back home just in time for her next feeding!

It definitely takes more time to go places with a baby, but it really is not that bad... as long as I keep the shopping car moving! She hates when it stops...

Alright, Leah is up for the day now.... later gator

Trying something new!

Look what we are trying out today!

I figure I might be using this in the future when we go some places rather than carrying her in car seat which is HEAVY! For example: Her doctor appointments. The parking garage is FAR walk from the their office and this will work wonderfully when I have to take her myself on the 21st!

Plus I think she loves it... she fell asleep 3 minutes after getting in it!

Guess who got some sleep

Me AND Leah!

After 2 rough nights, Leah definitely made up for them last night!


After her 8 pm feeding, she was asleep by 830.


Around 915, I headed to sleep.


At 1:51 I woke up, checked the clock and said "Ah, Leah hasnt been up yet!" She should have been up around 11 to eat... I went in her room to check on her and she was sound asleep, still perfectly swaddled!


At 2:45 I guess Leah finally decided she was hungry because she woke up. She quickly drank her 3 oz., I swaddled her back up tightly, and we were both back to sleep by 3:15.


At 6:15, we were both up for the day!


This was the most sleep I have gotten in weeks!! I feel like a new mommy!


I know its too soon to hope for multiple nights like this, but I will take them when I get them!


I also blame the succcess of the night on the power of the swaddle and this in particular! Summer Infant Swaddle Square - Blue Dot (Large) - Summer Infant - Babies "R" Us I think it is my favorite/most used item with Leah. It is the only blanket that I can get a tight swaddle on her that stays thru-out the night and she cannot breakout of! When she is not swaddled, she flings her arms around so much in her sleep that she usually scares herself awake and sometimes even knocks herself in the head! I will be suggesting it to all! I plan to get a few more because when this one gets dirty (Leah pees thru her diaper like the other night) we have nights of much less sleep! I just need to make it to BRU! Oh how my "to do" list continues to grow!

Update

After putting leah back in bed at 4, she then kicked her way out of swaddle, making herself cold, and then needed a diaper change.... so leah was back up at 445! Ugg. So back in her swing she went and I fell asleep on the couch until 6, when I put her back in her crib. At 7 she was back up again bc she peed thru her diaper and was all wet!

The joy of motherhood huh?

3:45 am

Here I am....

Leah wouldnt fall back to sleep after her 3 am snack (she pretended to sleep, until I sit her in her crib and her eyes pop open) so I am out in the family room with her in the swing trying to get her back to sleep.

Rather than sit her and try to sleep on the couch, I am writing... hopefully by the time Im done, she will be fast asleep and then I can get back into bed!

Bath update.... as soon as I put her in the tub, she cried, then peed, then relaxed. Besides the whole peeing in the tub, and having to drain the water and refill it with her in the tub, I think the bath went great. Tomorrow is bath number 2. By the way, I did not take an first bath pictures because I cant forget the story of the parents who tried to print off bath pictures of their little girls, and the picture person called the police on them and the parents had their kids taken away from them thinking the pictures were inappropriate. We will not let that happen here... from what I hear, Walmart picture people are crazy! (ask my mom)

I also want to keep track of my "paranoid parent" phone calls to the doctor. I made my first one the other day. Leah woke up and was fine, then 2 hrs I go to change her diaper and her belly button is bleeding!!!! I kind of freaked out and of course called. Turns out its normal... The part that sticks out may have falled off, but the base, deep down, is still healing. They never tell you about this though in any of the instructions that we were given about cord care.

Yesterday (Saturday) we also had our first public outing. We really needed to go to the grocery store and I did not want to 1. write a long list of everything we need for Brian to get (he rarely gets is all usually) 2. go by myself and leave Leah, so I asked if the 3 of us could head to Sams. It was wonderful to get out after 9 days in the house. I felt giddy as I drove our car out of the subdivision. Leah loved the car ride, and was a little unsure of the whole cart ride. She did not cry at all the whole trip, but she would not really let herself sleep either while in the store. Now on to me taking her out by myself this week... I think we will attempt to go to Target as I have a list of things to get!

Alright, its 5 to four, I think Leah might be asleep and I am ready to get back to bed as well since Leah will most likely be up in another 2 hrs for more food....

Good Night!

Guess who's umbilical cord fell off...

LEAH'S!!

This morning when she woke up at 730(yeah!) and needed a diaper change, it was missing! (or atleast lost in her clothes)

This means Leah gets a REAL bath tonight! Lets keep our fingers crossed that she enjoys it!

I will let you know how it goes!

My little cuddle bug

Life on Maternity Leave

Life is definitely different.

My days are pretty much spent sitting on the living room floor, tending to Leah's every need. I often do not get to brush my teeth or go to the bathroom until I can get her to nap for a bit, and showering only occurs at night when Brian is home. Its weird how taking care of myself just goes down the drain. In the past 2 weeks (happy 2 week bday to Leah by the way) I have lived in PJs and sweats, worn glasses everyday and maybe blown dried my hair 3 times. ha. I do look forward to getting dressed up and putting on make up... I just dont have the need when all I do is sit at home! I havent left the house in 6 days! I also look forward to my doctors appointment when I am Okayed to exercise and just be normal again!! I have about 20 lbs to lose... and I look forward to being able to go for walks, and even do an ab exercise! ha!

In Leah news... I am beginning to amaze myself at my ability to take care of her. While at the hospital I remember calling the nurse in once and saying "She's really fussy and I just dont know why! Please come help!" Now I am easily able to calm her when she gets in these fussy moods and can usually figure out quickly what she wants. For anyone who watches her in the future, she likes to eat every 3 hrs on the dot! She has a perfect internal clock that will wake her up and say "Its time to eat!" I can tell by her cry (and the time) when she just needs a diaper and she just wants to snuggle. I think she is happiest sleeping on her belly on my chest or just held super close and tight... but sometimes refuses to be put down. I am ok with it.. I want to hold her as much as possible while I am home and she lets me. When she does sleep I frantically try to get as much done around the house as possible! My goal today is to sleep when she sleeps! My 5-6 nonconsecutive hrs of sleep a night will not continue to be enough. I know I will soon become too exhausted and run out of steam. But look at me... Leah is currently sleeping and here I am! Oops!

An interesting baby book that I have been reading is The Happiest Baby on the Block, It talks all about the "fourth trimester" and how babies just want to be held tight and that its kind of impossible to spoil a baby under 3 months. It talks alot about other cultures who's babies never cry and the reason they think is behind it as well as colicy babies. (Please cross your fingers that Leah does not become colicy!)