Our first night in the hospital was a very sleepless one! We sent Leah to the nursery around 1130, but I just could NOT sleep! I knew I needed too, but I just could not stop thinking about my baby! I think I finally fell asleep when it was time for a nurse to come in and check on me, then it was time for Leah to come in and try to nurse, then time for a nurse again, and Leah again, and then the nurse, and a med student, then a resident, then the aneistiologist, time to nurse again, then the pediatrician, then my doctor, and then we were up.
Brian, Leah and I enjoyed the morning together as a little family of 3. I think it was just spent starring at her and daydreaming about the future. By midmorning Brian had to head out and get to work. I figured I had plenty of help in the hospital and did not really need him. If he went to work, he could take off when we were actually at home and when I would really need him. Looking back now though, I really wish he would have stayed the whole day.
I was still hooked up to my epidural for pain meds and could not get out of bed. I could not get up to change Leah’s diapers, or really do too much at all. Plus I was EXHAUSTED from my lack of sleep and I thought it would be bad of me to send Leah to the nursery… so I kept her with me, and remained sleep deprived.
Visitors began to arrive in the early afternoon. First my grandma, then Tara, Brian’s parents, my sister, and finally my parents. By the time my parents had arrived, it was only about 7 pm but I just could not function anymore. I was so tired that I just wanted to cry. I remember fighting back tears and asking my parents to leave so that I could get to sleep. I let Brian go home and try to get some sleep at the house. He was just as tired as I was and I knew with the nurses and Leah coming in all night, trying to sleep on the little pull-out, and having to go to work the next day, he needed some good sleep. The sacrificing myself for my family had begun.
I did get some sleep that night because I woke up the next morning feeling a million times better! Leah was finally beginning to get a hold of breastfeeding, my epidural and IV were finally removed, I got out of bed, and I was able to take a shower!! That night even more visitors came to meet Miss Leah.
Saturday is the day my hormones started to kick in. I knew I would be more emotional… I just never guessed how it would effect me. That day Connecticut was playing Notre Dame in football. We did not catch most of the game, just came in during the 4th quarter. The sportscasters started talking about how the Notre Dame’s coach was having a losing season, and if they did not pull out a win he would be fired. Then they showed a shot from the beginning of the game when the team took the field, arms linked with their coach, in full support of him. I lost it. I just started crying… then they lost! Brian looks over at me and I had tears rolling down my face! “Your crying!?!” he asked, but he was really saying that I was crazy. “Yes! Its just so sad!” . I eventually recovered… but a few hours later sportscenter was on, talking about the game, and I started tearing up again! I made him change the channel anytime they mentioned Notre Dame. Now I hear the name and practically start crying from laughing so hard because the whole thing was so ridiculous!
Sunday was our day to take Miss Leah home. The night before we were so eager to get home. I was so tired of the hospital and I was ready to get out of there. But by the time we were able to leave I started to freak out a little bit. It hit me that we would really be on our own with this little person. She was all ours. It was our responsibility to take care of EVERYTHING until she is ready and able to do it all on her own. We were at the beginning of a lifetime together.