Monday, November 29, 2010

Part 3 - Career

Obviously, if my life was a book...

Part 1 - Childhood
Part 2 - Love and Family (getting married and starting a family)
Part 3 - Career

I am about to begin my new career, and I honestly thought I would be freaking out about it a little more.   I still have the thoughts in my head like "What if its super super hard and I fail miserably?" Honestly, I dont think I have ever been tested mentally (besides my exams) and I think I am about to be.    School was not a challenge at all and my old job was easy-peazy.  Add in the fact that I have always been one of the top people (school, sports, work) and here I am about to enter a place where everyone is as smart as me, if not more.  When I went out to lunch on my interview, one of the guys had a law degree, and the other had an engineering degree.   Its intimidating.   ... But I honestly am ready to challenge myself.  See what I am really worth.

I should today, but today wsa my grandmother's funeral.   I guess her funeral is the reason why my freak-out has been put on the back burner.   Plus, I already adore my boss.   Before even starting I had to call him.  The first conversation went a little like this:

Me:  Hi Chris, this is Kim Gilmore!
Chris: Hiiiiiiiiiii Kim!!
Me:  So............... I havent even started, and I already need time off.

He is already acting like the ideal boss!   He is completely understanding and I will begin Tuesday!   He said that whatever I needed, we would work with.   He totally could have been a jerk, given me some attitude, but he didnt!   He made a great first impression.   He makes me realize that I will have great, friendly people around me, and I can do this!  

Plus my friend Jania started today as planned and she said her first day went great!!   I hope I get to say the same!!

Stay tuned!


Sunday, November 28, 2010

No Cavities Here!

At Leah's 1 year check up, the Doctor mentioned that Leah needed to start brushing her 10 teeth!   Yes 10!  2 top molars are currently pushing thru and man have they made for one crabby little girl!  So this morning Daddy and her grabbed their tooth brushes and brushed their teeth together!  (I did not, as I MUST brush my teeth the minute I get out of bed, and someone had to take pictures!)

Uh, she loves it!   I could not get the tooth brush away from her!  Last night as I was putting her in the bath she spotted her pink and purple toothbrush on the sink and started freaking out over it.   

Dont worry, I did grab it once and give them a good scrub for her.

Beautiful teeth here we come!


Brain Power!

Leah amazes me every single day!

The other day I was feeding her yoguart when I put it down for a second and went to do something.   The next thing I know she has grabbed the yoguart cup and is feeding herself!  
She loves banging on the old keyboard

Then she is sitting on my lap as I work on the computer and I look down and she has scribbled all over my paper with a pen!  

And today I was reading her the book "Sooo Big" and every time I read the words "Sooo Big"  she was putting her arms up in the typical "Sooo Big" motion! 
And she shakes her head no, when we say "no".   She thinks its so funny!

When did my BABY pick all this up?!!   I know I have said this over and over again, but she is seriously becoming a little kid overnight!


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thankful but Heart Broken

I was REALLY looking forward to this Thanksgiving.   I was so excited for Leah's first roadtrip to Memphis, to spend Thanksgiving-poloza with my mom's side of the family, and to just have any amazing time... but our plans changed in a blink of an eye.

Tuesday night, as Leah and I waited for Brian to get home so we could start packing for our trip, I was watching the news.  The news is usually on, but with a baby, its hard to actually pay attention to anything on TV.   All of a sudden I heard ..."accident in Barnhart."  I immediately looked up at the screen, saw an intersection that I am very familiar with, and then recognized the damaged car.   It was my grandmother's car.   My heart started to beat faster. I felt sick to my stomach.   I tried to get my phone to turn on but it was too dead.   At that instant Brian walked in the door.  

Me: "Let me have your phone!" 
Me:  "There was an accident on TV and I just know its my grandma's car." 
Brian: "She has a pretty common car.."
Me: "I just know its her!"

I dialed her house phone and she didnt answer.

I called my parents house.   As soon as my mom answered the phone I knew something was wrong.   I could hear it in her voice.   My mom did not tell me much... just that it was my grandmother.   She was waiting for my dad to come home.   She couldnt tell him the news over the phone, and she needed to tell him everything first.     My mom did not need to tell me anything else... I knew the outcome... I knew my grandmother, the woman who watched me thru-out my childhood, that was at every single sporting event of mine, at every graduation, and at the birth of Leah... died in that accident.

I was just in shock Tuesday night... She was just at my house a week ago for Leah's birthday party... She wasnt sick. If that was the case, we could have prepared ourself for the loss.  We werent expecting this.  She was just gone.

Wednesday, everything really began to sink in.   All the wonderful, amazing memories started to flow back to me and the realization that there would be no more new ones hit like a ton of bricks.  I was completely heart broken.  

Growing up, she was my babysitter.   One of my very first memories is her pushing my in a stroller thru my neighborhood and pointing out the trees. She eventually watched my little sister as well, and was there every morning before school and evening when we came home.   My sibilings and I were all old enough to attend school, but she would come over to make sure we made it to school OK since my parents would leave earlier for work.     From the day I started sports to my last game she was ALWAYS there.   She was always there not just for me, but also for all of my siblings games, and my cousins games, and even for my teammates.   Once news hit facebook of my grandmother's death I received such amazing messages, from  past teammates, on how supportive she was and how they also remember her always being there.   I havent played an organized game in 8 years, and its amazing that even others remember her presence. When I went away to college and after I graduated she would send weekly cards filled with newspaper clippings, coupons, and jokes.  Our family used to joke about this mail that all the grandchildren received, which was always recognized with the bajillion stickers on the envelope.  But now the thought of them just makes me cry because I know we will never receive another one.    

My grandmother was amazing.   She valued family more than anything.   I always felt like her favorite... and I will fight anyone to prove it... but truly, I am sure each of her 9 grandchildren and 4 (+ 1 on the way) great grandchildren felt that way.    Even far distant cousins received the same respect and love as her own immediate family.   We were all connected somehow, and that was all that mattered.  

Although she was taken quickly, unexpectantly, her life was far from unfullfilled.   She travelled the world, multiple times over.   At 80+ years old she went to China and India and even had a trip to Libia planned.   She loved a good road trip.   Every summer her and my aunt would drive all over the country to visit the family she loved so much.   She loved her car and her freedom and although it is so tradgic that her life was taken in an awful accident, it is almost poetic as she loved the freedom her car gave her. I am sure it was one of her favorite places/things.  

As much as I want to celebrate her amazing life, its so hard to know that she will not be there phyiscally for the next big event.   I can clearly remember her telling me not to be sad when my grandfather and aunt passed away because they have gone to a better place... I know that she is telling me this same thing right now.   I need to remember to celebrate her life, rather than greif her loss.... but it is a life I already miss...

Yep! That's her real hair color! I hope I get this trait.... plus many more!!

I love you Grandma!   Forever and always you will be in my heart!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Blogging + Shutterfly = Perfect!

I LOVE blogging,... and I LOVE photo cards!

I almost always order my cards thru Shutterfly.  I just sent out Halloween cards with Leah in her pumpkin costume and I definitely plan to order our Christmas cards thru them.    I LOVE photo cards and I doubt I will ever stop sending them.... well maybe when we are old and our kids are like 40.... I am not sure people will want to see a picture of Brian and I in our 60/70s. 

Shutterfly is doing a fantastic promotion for their new christmas cards where bloggers can get 50 FREE cards!!   I cannot wait to decide on a family photo and design our cards!!   Since I will be getting 50 for FREE I might just end up sending cards to every single person I know!!!  

There are over 803 to choose from!! I have no idea how I will ever decide!

I love this one:

And this one:

OMG, or this one!:

Gosh I am not even a 10th of the way thru them! This will be hard...

You can check them out, order your own, and/or help me decide by going here:  or here for holiday cards:

And if I am feeling really productive, I have been wanting to make some calendars for family members:
This might be a finalist... you will just have to wait and see which photo we choose!!

If you blog, you can find out about the promotion by going HERE!

Eeee! I just cant wait to get started on our cards for this year!!!!!


Monday, November 22, 2010

How do you measure a year?

How about in 10 inches and 15 lbs and 6 oz?

Leah went from 9 lbs 6 oz to 24 lbs 12 oz (90th percentile) and 21.25 inches to 31.25 inches (97th percentile)...

What will this next year hold?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I am feeling a little writers block

All I can think of are completely random thoughts!

  • Leah is ONE YEAR OLD! She is officially a little person.
  • Daycare took away her morning nap..... I gave it back to her today!
  • Leah is also a cot sleeper now....
  • I have a parent-teacher conference on the 1st... yes, for my ONE YEAR OLD!
  • I am officially unemployed.... for the next week.   I am sure there will be a post/freak out sometime in the next week about starting a new job.
  • I am 1/2 way done with my christmas shopping and I havent even set foot in a store to buy any of it! ... yes, this is what I did my last week of work.  Short Timers disease is rough!
  • I have the most amazing gift idea for Brian!  I can't wait to get to work on it, and to give it to him... I hate that I will have to wait to share on here what it is.  My husband does read this at times.
  • Titanic is on TV, and I must watch it.
  • OHHH BSB and New Kids on the Block are touring together and I must attend! They are even performing together tomorrow night on some awards show! I will be watching! I love the memories those boys men bring back to me.
Ok... now back to Titanic!   I think I have played on the computer/internet so much in the past 2 weeks at work (serisouly the last 2 weeks of a job are ROUGH!  Bordem, loss of interest, and having to be there for 8 hours a day is torture!) that I just cannot stand to get on our computer right now for more than 5 minutes at a time!


Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Hospital Stay

Our first night in the hospital was a very sleepless one! We sent Leah to the nursery around 1130, but I just could NOT sleep! I knew I needed too, but I just could not stop thinking about my baby! I think I finally fell asleep when it was time for a nurse to come in and check on me, then it was time for Leah to come in and try to nurse, then time for a nurse again, and Leah again, and then the nurse, and a med student, then a resident, then the aneistiologist, time to nurse again, then the pediatrician, then my doctor, and then we were up.

Brian, Leah and I enjoyed the morning together as a little family of 3. I think it was just spent starring at her and daydreaming about the future. By midmorning Brian had to head out and get to work. I figured I had plenty of help in the hospital and did not really need him. If he went to work, he could take off when we were actually at home and when I would really need him. Looking back now though, I really wish he would have stayed the whole day.

I was still hooked up to my epidural for pain meds and could not get out of bed. I could not get up to change Leah’s diapers, or really do too much at all. Plus I was EXHAUSTED from my lack of sleep and I thought it would be bad of me to send Leah to the nursery… so I kept her with me, and remained sleep deprived.

Visitors began to arrive in the early afternoon. First my grandma, then Tara, Brian’s parents, my sister, and finally my parents. By the time my parents had arrived, it was only about 7 pm but I just could not function anymore. I was so tired that I just wanted to cry. I remember fighting back tears and asking my parents to leave so that I could get to sleep. I let Brian go home and try to get some sleep at the house. He was just as tired as I was and I knew with the nurses and Leah coming in all night, trying to sleep on the little pull-out, and having to go to work the next day, he needed some good sleep. The sacrificing myself for my family had begun.

I did get some sleep that night because I woke up the next morning feeling a million times better! Leah was finally beginning to get a hold of breastfeeding, my epidural and IV were finally removed, I got out of bed, and I was able to take a shower!! That night even more visitors came to meet Miss Leah.

Saturday is the day my hormones started to kick in. I knew I would be more emotional… I just never guessed how it would effect me. That day Connecticut was playing Notre Dame in football. We did not catch most of the game, just came in during the 4th quarter. The sportscasters started talking about how the Notre Dame’s coach was having a losing season, and if they did not pull out a win he would be fired. Then they showed a shot from the beginning of the game when the team took the field, arms linked with their coach, in full support of him. I lost it. I just started crying… then they lost! Brian looks over at me and I had tears rolling down my face! “Your crying!?!” he asked, but he was really saying that I was crazy. “Yes! Its just so sad!” . I eventually recovered… but a few hours later sportscenter was on, talking about the game, and I started tearing up again! I made him change the channel anytime they mentioned Notre Dame. Now I hear the name and practically start crying from laughing so hard because the whole thing was so ridiculous!

Sunday was our day to take Miss Leah home. The night before we were so eager to get home. I was so tired of the hospital and I was ready to get out of there. But by the time we were able to leave I started to freak out a little bit. It hit me that we would really be on our own with this little person. She was all ours. It was our responsibility to take care of EVERYTHING until she is ready and able to do it all on her own. We were at the beginning of a lifetime together.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Revisiting Leah's Birth - Day

I realized that I never wrote about Leah's birth and our stay in the hospital.   Although this is a year late, I want to write it down so in 10 years, I can still remember!

Leah was a scheduled C-section.   She was always measuring big and even a day after my due date, my body was showing no signs of labor.  We (seriously it was just me and the doctor, Brian missed my very last, most important appointment because his boss kept him too long.  I was SOOO mad!) talked with my doctor and discussed the options of 1. waiting another week, 2. trying induction, or 3. going straight to the c-section.   I did not want to wait another week and the doctor didn't really want me too either because it would just make Leah even bigger.   I was not fond of the induction idea either. I had heard so many stories of laboring for 24 hours and then still needing a c-section.  My gut was just telling me I would end up there no matter what, so lets just jump straight to it. Plus c-section deliveries are the safest way to get babies out, and it gave me 2 more weeks paid maternity leave!  I have to say I have the most amazing doctor ever that she even gave me the option to skip straight to the c-section.   I think it was the best choice ever!!

I believe the delivery was scheduled for 4:30 and we were to arrive at 2:30.  The drive was exciting. The walk into the hospital doors was even more exciting.  When we left there, it would be with a baby!  We checked in, were taken to a room where I got in my gown and they started preping me for surgery.   I was strapped up to all the equipment, and 4 attempts to get my IV in.   That was seriously the most pain I felt the entire time! (I know most women will probably smack me for saying that!)

Our delivery time was pushed back an hour as other mom's to be needed emerceny c-sections.   The wait in our room was LONG and nerve racking.   We would have never made waiting around for a normal delivery!   Brian was antsy and I was getting nervous!   A resident eventually came in and asked if I was feeling OK. I said yes... and she went on to tell me that I was having some pretty good contractions.   I just thought it was nerves!   I think I will always wonder if we didnt have the c-section scheduled if Leah would have came that night on her own.  

While waiting around, Brian decided to go to the waiting room and check to see if our family was there.   As he walked in, my mother was also walking in at the same time and freaked out thinking Brian was coming out to say she was born!   Brian said her reaction was priceless and knowing my mom it probably made alot of people giggle!

Eventually we got the OK that it was our turn for the O.R. and the anestiologist came in to give me the epidural.   I always heard that this was supposed to be painful. I kept tensing up to expect great pain, but all it felt like was a flu shot in my back!   I think the pain comes from being in real labor, going thru contractions, and trying to sit still.... when you are pretty much labor free, it felt like nothing.     It was the weirdest feeling EVER having your legs go numb!!

By then it was time to go!   We rolled out of our room and down the hall to meet our baby!! We entered the O.R. and I switched beds and they tied down my arms.   Brian took the chair right next to my head.   I could tell he was very nervous.   The sight of any blood makes him want to hurl, and knowing they were about to cut me open made him a little queezie.   The aneseiologist asked if I was feeling OK, the Doctor asked if I could feel her pinching me, and when I responded to both with "no" they began!   I remember thinking I was in an episode of Greys Anatomy or something.   My doctor and the resident were just chatting back and forth like girl friends at lunch....

A few minutes later they found our baby girl!   "Look at those cheeks!!!" were the first comment as they pulled her out! The Anestiegologist encouraged Brian to take pictures, but Brian was too scared to look, so the doctor took our camera and clicked away.   We have some really crazy pictures with her head coming out my stomach and my stomach all wide open!  "She is a big girl and look at how perfectly round her head is.  I bet she was breach for quite a while because her head shows no mark of really ever being down. You made a great decision of skipping to this part.  I do not think she would have came out on her own." Although I was caught up in trying to get a glimpse of my baby girl, hearing those words makes me so happy in the decision I made.   It always feels good to know you choose correctly!

 They showed her too me for a second, and I remember thinking "My baby!!" and then she moved over to the basinet to clean her up.   9 lbs 6 oz and absolutely healthy and perfect!   I remember Brian looking at Leah, and then looking at me and just having the biggest, proudest smile ever on his face!   They asked Brian if he wanted to cut the ambilical cord, I think his first response was actually no.  Remember his queeziness.  But after demands that he had to, he said "Ok.  But how hard do I have to squeeze?" and we all laughed.    They eventually wrapped Leah up and handed her over to Brian where he held her for the next 30 minutes while they put me back together.    Up to this point, Brian had only held a baby a handful of times, for a total of 5 minutes, so you could see his nervousness on his face, but also pure joy and love.

When I was finished they rolled be back to the recovery room while Brian walked behind with our beautiful baby girl.   I finally demanded that he pass her over and went to get our family.   I loved the first moment I got with her alone.   I loved her little nose, Brian's eyes, and her light brown hair.   She was just so perfect. Exactly how I pictured her.  

First our moms came in, 2 at a time.   I moment my mom and Brian's mom walked around the curtain and caught a glimpse of their first grand baby was so exciting.   There was so much joy in the air!   Our dads, Brian's sister, my grandma and my uncle Keith were all there waiting to see the new addition.   Leah had quite the welcoming.  

Why did no one take that hairnet off of me!?!!
After a couple of hours in recovery Leah was taken away from us... up to the nursery to have her first bath.   I was wheeled up to my room.   When the nurses finally left us, and Leah was brought back, I remember looking at Brian in complete excitement and amazement.  We were on cloud 9.  Completely in love.  We were parents!   Our lives were forever changed.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Nov 15th

My official due date.  


I can’t help to think “Today should have been Leah’s birthday” and I am sure I will every year.


 Leah was already showing her personality. She wanted to do things her way.   She wanted her momma to learn some patience.  She wanted to hang on a little longer.


It has been an amazing year.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

1st Birthday Extravaganza

We did it!  Leah's first birthday extravaganza was a success!  We had a few nerve racking when our HOT food was delivered at 1;00 pm instead of 3:00pm, or what I began to feel clostraphobic when I realized there were way too many people in our little house.... but everything was truely wonderful!

Leah napped wonderfully before the big event! I was so pleased! She was well rested and I got everything done! Our guests arrived, they visited, they ate, they commented on how yummy our "HOT" sandwiches tasted cold, we opened presents, Leah was completely spoiled, Leah ate and destroyed her cake, she was put in the tub and cleaned off, and then she played in her birthday suit and princess crown! 

I dont think it could have been better!  I loved having everyone celebrate in the life of my beautiful daughter!  I cant wait to celebrate it over and over again!

And now for the pictures...

Wreath made by my sister-n-law
Cupcakes made by my sister ...and monthly pictures of Leah.

Banner made by ME!  I dont outsource everything.

Birthday Girl in her Birthday Throne

A doll made by Leah's Great-Great-Grandma

Family Photo-Op 

Just dug a whole...keeping it clean...

Then she decided..."Screw that!"....oh so we never forget...I have to say, her poop today has been PINK! haha!

Me and my neice Jenna. I cant believe Leah was once this little!

What a difference 46 weeks makes!

The Princess waving Good Bye to all her guests

Being sure to play with as many toys at once.... riding the turtle, while talking on the phone, and vacuuming.



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